Sleepless night

It is one of those nights where no matter how long i close my eyes.. My mind refuses to shut down.
There's nothing bothering me, just many small things lingering around in my head.

I thought about the days when I was adamant to lead a happy life, to forgive and forget, to ignore and go forward. To the resolution of being myself, not afraid to make stands against what I don't agree with, critical thinking.

And today, more careful with people, able to laugh and disagree. I wonder if this is what some people call mercenary, discerning and doubtful. No matter how I look at this progression, or should I say regression, it seems wrong.

I happen to come across this phrase "有的关心是虚伪的、有的关心是真实的＂I'm hoping that I will never come to a stage where people will look too deep into what i tell them. I won't make statements to indirectly reflect good on myself. I won't say things so that others can hear about them indirectly through a third party.

I mght have lost abit of my character over the 2 years but I think I havn't lost all.

Life is just hard to take it all in. Where was the dumb Wilbert?