Conclusion reached

Conclusion reached: I need to get out of my current state, I will not let others dictate my level of happiness.

Unless something drastic happens, I will never be happy with status quo. Some options:

1) Change job scope
2) Change job
3) Save enough to go for overseas study

Pros and Cons ... Pros and Cons ... I need to be focused... another 2 months max :) - Jun 26 2009, decision point.

Still as heavy on a rainy day

Was just reading on my previous posts, felt that I haven't been feeling good. Or maybe I only log in to post when I'm really down.

Heavy rain, heavy heart. With nowhere to go, trapped in a place I have no choice but to be at. Come to realise that perhaps I'm the only fool who takes things so seriously. Only one who cares. I feel sad, weep at times, no one to talk to. No idea why I'm feeling this - or why do i deserve this.

Still at a deciding point, with no answers. Why is it that life has to be a guessing game. Why can't we just say what we want to say - why do we care. I don't understand because I can't do it either. Time to let go? Time to heck care? But easier said than done yet this seems to be the only way.

I really don't know what to do. Why can't I feel better... May tomorrow be a better day - as I really do care.