Jaded

Been feeling quite down lately.. no idea why perhaps due to fatigue. Work's been quite boring and taxing at the same time. Been struggling with many of the tasks and it seems like its going nowhere. Talked to some of my friends and most of them said they feel the same way too. But if everyone's feeling the same way, why can't I take it ?? Mentally weak? Perhaps.

Anyway, while walking around during lunch break last week, my colleague suddenly asked if I'm very sick of working at Singtel. I was quite surprised by that question ... so I told him yea. The advice I got was not to be too obvious about it especially when I have no plans. This started me thinking about things. Many friends have told me I'm like a piece of white paper... very easy to tell if I'm pissed, sians, happy angry etc. I guess I show my emotions on my face. . . and I know that's not too good for certain situations . . . I have tried to change but somehow it doesn't seem to be effective. Hai . . .

With regards to work, though am not really happy with the current situation, I have no idea what needs to be done. Work, no doubt is mundane and boring but what other jobs can be interesting? Even if there are other jobs that is interesting to me, will I be qualified and suitable for them? Most probably not . . . Furthermore, colleagues are quite nice in my current team. . . so what is the problem then? No idea . . . perhaps I just don't like the job scope. I quitted Gevo because I am doing what others are telling me to do . . . To put it bluntly, the job scope is to serve the japanese game designer in Japan. What they want, I have to deliver, and according to their schedule. Somehow I feel that my job scope is the same in Singtel. What business users want, I have to deliver and please these people. I guess that is one reason why I'm feeling jaded. Suddenly its all coming back to square 1. . . But then again on closer look, which job doesn't require you to deliver according to the needs of other users / business? Unless I'm my own boss, the predicament will be the same no matter which company I am in.

I think I'm just generally jaded with how things are currently... not only with respect to job but also to other aspects of my life... work, friends, colleagues, everything ... perhaps a break would freshen up things a bit... but am out of leave!!! Gonna wait till sep for my long break . . . I hope I can survive till then . . . Need to be more positive, more driven . . . and kinder to others . . .

Anyway . . . enough of the lousy stuffs and negativity. Went for the last few sessions of my facial package today. Jess helped me to do lasik on my face for the first time! :) Felt quite amazed by how the laser can burn away the uneven skin tones . . . I can even smell the burnt skin ! Heh quite interesting. But am hoping that the facial sessions end really soon . . . Quite a hassle to go down for these sessions actually. After the facial session went for keyboard lessons. Started on a new piece titled "Theme from Dying Young". This is another nice piece but well, depends on who is playing :p Haha.

Went out for dinner with siwei, uncle and zhenfeng. Celebrated bro's bday in advance today b'cos he is going for ICT on monday... and monday's his birthday heh. Poor guy ... Went over to dempsey as uncle drove today. Had dinner at barracks before heading towards P.S. Cafe for desserts. Well, dinner was so so and desserts were still as nice as before :) Played around with uncle's dslr and managed to get some nice pictures! (In my opinion) Heh. Will try to get it from uncle and upload it here if possible. I think I made bro quite pissed off today 'cos I was teasing him about how Federer lost to Nadal. Haha Being the fanatic supporter of Federer, he almost died from anger heh. Had a great time with these uni friends. Hope to catch up more often. :)